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Author Topic: Life, I guess  (Read 1043 times)

Perci

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Life, I guess
« on: December 09, 2018, 11:56:49 am »

Every once in a while I come back to shitpost about my life like in the olden days. Also to check what is up.

I have turned eighteen, and it is my final year in middle school or however you call it... so I am in 12th grade and I should be going to university from next September. Still, I have no idea where to go.
My strengths are mostly in math and in thinking a whole lot about pretty much every aspect of life: ethics, theology, art, ...particle physics and the sort. Quite a broad spectrum. Also IT education isn't given much effort in my school (one lame lesson per week, for a single year), so I do not know much about my competence at that. However, the expectations aren't very high either... nor are they any relevant. But I guess basic IT can be shoved down one's throat in a single semester at uni so "whatever".

Main thing is, I am kind of clueless as in what I should be studying one year from now, and how I should be preparing. I do not know what my calling may be. Also, I am in a school where the only thing that comes into consideration is science. Pretty much everyone around me says they want to become a surgeon, a researcher or an architect. And I cannot really find my place in this strange world.

I'm an odd guy. I can get a deep understanding of almost anything I come across and have a deep desire to change the world around me, for the better. I am a thinker who wants to serve his friends and his nation. If I were called to be an artist, that would mean I would have to take big risks, as I have never previously been involved in art very directly, thus I am inexperienced. I have always been a rather passive observer, but nowadays I am starting to realize that I have to learn to participate in my own life directly, ant it is frightening me a bit. So that's where I am right now, in my "career", although I really do not like that word.

Otherwise, I am experiencing great emotional roller-coasters nowadays and I am starting to realize that maybe this will be happening throughout my life from now on. Desires are starting to burn strong, childhood scars are becoming apparent, and dumber and dumber acts are trying to justify themselves in me. I never really understood, as a child, why adults were so often so corrupt; and I could not really come up with rational explanations. But when I think about it, we do things when we believe, even if for a moment, that they are justified. And things start to hurt a lot more after a certain age, I guess; and that makes acts of trying to relieve that pain via any means (even if they do not work) feel almost completely justifiable. It's quite dangerous.
Also, I've had my first relationship and first breakup earlier this year (February to March), with a lovely girl whom I had met the previous summer at a youth camp. I am not sure on whatever could have really caused the breakup, but I think I am just getting over it now already. Definitely a defining experience. Still a lovely six weeks, though... Also ugh.
So yeah, I am starting to discover how relationships really work and it's both lovely and rather serious. I usually get really strongly attached to certain people, like they were my siblings (I have none), and as it turns out, constantly seeking affection will not yield affection. Love does not work like that, and it is actually pretty amazing to discover how much kindness I can get from people I love if I just hold myself back a bit and act consciously, rather than blindly going after my wild emotions. So yeah, I've gotta be a man, and I've gotta be smart. It's a great adventure, although sometimes rather difficult.

Other stuff: I am now a grown-up in the Church (I was confirmed), I am officially one of the organizers/helpers at my region's youth community, I am trying to get a drivers' license (not easy to do here, driving lessons are pricey and hard to organize next to school, the system is a bit corrupt and I have failed a live exam two weeks ago), and I haven't really been playing video games lately, which is good, as I was a light addict in earlier months/years... I am still kind of lazy and not very motivated a lot of the time, but things are looking better and better, some day I might even make a living out of something. As for now... mom is financing my stuff... I am an only child afterall... although not really a child and I just didn't really consider doing summer jobs other than offering help in camps where I had to pay instead.

So yeah, things have changed a bit I guess.

It's your turn... If you want.
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Fort Nite 2

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Re: Life, I guess
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2018, 12:11:51 pm »

I love theology/anthropology of religion, super interesting stuff
« Last Edit: December 09, 2018, 12:12:20 pm by Tex Rillerson »
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SevereHazard

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Re: Life, I guess
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2018, 02:42:55 pm »

Every once in a while I come back to shitpost about my life like in the olden days. Also to check what is up.

I have turned eighteen, and it is my final year in middle school or however you call it... so I am in 12th grade and I should be going to university from next September. Still, I have no idea where to go.
My strengths are mostly in math and in thinking a whole lot about pretty much every aspect of life: ethics, theology, art, ...particle physics and the sort. Quite a broad spectrum. Also IT education isn't given much effort in my school (one lame lesson per week, for a single year), so I do not know much about my competence at that. However, the expectations aren't very high either... nor are they any relevant. But I guess basic IT can be shoved down one's throat in a single semester at uni so "whatever".

Main thing is, I am kind of clueless as in what I should be studying one year from now, and how I should be preparing. I do not know what my calling may be. Also, I am in a school where the only thing that comes into consideration is science. Pretty much everyone around me says they want to become a surgeon, a researcher or an architect. And I cannot really find my place in this strange world.

I'm an odd guy. I can get a deep understanding of almost anything I come across and have a deep desire to change the world around me, for the better. I am a thinker who wants to serve his friends and his nation. If I were called to be an artist, that would mean I would have to take big risks, as I have never previously been involved in art very directly, thus I am inexperienced. I have always been a rather passive observer, but nowadays I am starting to realize that I have to learn to participate in my own life directly, ant it is frightening me a bit. So that's where I am right now, in my "career", although I really do not like that word.

Otherwise, I am experiencing great emotional roller-coasters nowadays and I am starting to realize that maybe this will be happening throughout my life from now on. Desires are starting to burn strong, childhood scars are becoming apparent, and dumber and dumber acts are trying to justify themselves in me. I never really understood, as a child, why adults were so often so corrupt; and I could not really come up with rational explanations. But when I think about it, we do things when we believe, even if for a moment, that they are justified. And things start to hurt a lot more after a certain age, I guess; and that makes acts of trying to relieve that pain via any means (even if they do not work) feel almost completely justifiable. It's quite dangerous.
Also, I've had my first relationship and first breakup earlier this year (February to March), with a lovely girl whom I had met the previous summer at a youth camp. I am not sure on whatever could have really caused the breakup, but I think I am just getting over it now already. Definitely a defining experience. Still a lovely six weeks, though... Also ugh.
So yeah, I am starting to discover how relationships really work and it's both lovely and rather serious. I usually get really strongly attached to certain people, like they were my siblings (I have none), and as it turns out, constantly seeking affection will not yield affection. Love does not work like that, and it is actually pretty amazing to discover how much kindness I can get from people I love if I just hold myself back a bit and act consciously, rather than blindly going after my wild emotions. So yeah, I've gotta be a man, and I've gotta be smart. It's a great adventure, although sometimes rather difficult.

Other stuff: I am now a grown-up in the Church (I was confirmed), I am officially one of the organizers/helpers at my region's youth community, I am trying to get a drivers' license (not easy to do here, driving lessons are pricey and hard to organize next to school, the system is a bit corrupt and I have failed a live exam two weeks ago), and I haven't really been playing video games lately, which is good, as I was a light addict in earlier months/years... I am still kind of lazy and not very motivated a lot of the time, but things are looking better and better, some day I might even make a living out of something. As for now... mom is financing my stuff... I am an only child afterall... although not really a child and I just didn't really consider doing summer jobs other than offering help in camps where I had to pay instead.

So yeah, things have changed a bit I guess.

It's your turn... If you want.


Same. I just feel like my life hasnít been the best. Iím always a passive guy and I just think I need to tell my side of the story that everyone doesnít know.

Perci

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BG's back at it again with his messed up love life seriously what the fuck
« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2019, 04:47:43 pm »

I am 18 and I have a crush on a 23 y/o girl, and I am trying to make sense of it, like "why".
I am weird.
I am bored.
She's lovely tho.
Also I guess it's a much healthier set of feelings than when I was 14, pretty much about to either rape a girl or otherwise go insane, so that's something.
What a life.
What a blog.
« Last Edit: February 18, 2019, 04:49:05 pm by Schneemann (Brilliancegoat) »
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free crzy

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Re: Life, I guess
« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2019, 05:15:13 pm »

Iím like 5 years older than my gf donít sweat it

VerticalHorizon

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Re: Life, I guess
« Reply #5 on: March 25, 2019, 08:14:20 am »

Iím like 5 years older than my gf donít sweat it
I'm like 5. Period.
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i very low know english, can you reply me what that post say?
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Also I guess it's a much healthier set of feelings than when I was 14, pretty much about to either rape a girl or otherwise go insane, so that's something.
shut the fuck up
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.prime

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Re: Life, I guess
« Reply #7 on: March 26, 2019, 04:45:39 pm »

February 18, 2019, 04:47:43
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give usa host next time n put prime on other team so i can fuk on this nigga for tlaking shit
plz ban all european ips so we can keep gg2 clean

.prime

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Re: Life, I guess
« Reply #8 on: March 26, 2019, 04:46:23 pm »

i didnt even see this post tho wtf brilliance
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give usa host next time n put prime on other team so i can fuk on this nigga for tlaking shit
plz ban all european ips so we can keep gg2 clean
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