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[KnotSoup]

  THREAD CHALLENGE #97: "No Shirt. No Power." 

Create an flash or gif animation about the Gang Garrison Merchandise

"Mercantiles, All of you are pathetic lazy little flying fucks and Hyun's Dojo is a better community than this piece of shit."

"Good luck, useless Mercantiles."

Example: www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWI050BS3hY

Tip 1: Get Flash or any animating program for that matter.
Tip 2: Animate.

*Note: You are given 2 days to this challenge. And, Hyun's Dojo > GG2F!

[bullets (obviously)]

  DAILY CHALLENGE #0: "Choose the Pub Lyfe" 

Win a game without earning a single point.
Full Commission: Be present throughout the entire game. Take a screenshot at the very beginning and very end; for the ending shot, spam bubbles at a humiliated player and/or gloat in chat.

"For those of you complaining that my challenges leave my Mercantiles at the mercy of both their comrades' and enemies' mindless whims, this next challenge puts the full responsibility of success directly on your shoulders. Individual mastery of combat is required for a Mercantile to carry their team to victory, but to succeed so effortlessly demands a godlike level of skill."

Example:

(click to show/hide)

Tip 1: Teamswitch to the winning side at a convenient moment to make sure you are carrying the right team.
Tip 2: Don't fire at random into the air if you are so skilled that you could accidentally kill a cloaked enemy spy.
Tip 3: Wander into enemy territory at random to intimidate and/or distract them with the sheer force of your presence.
Tip 4: Assist your team in completing objectives or chipping away at full health enemies, but allow them to take the credit by ditching before points are awarded.
Tip 5: As a pyro, flame your enemies in chat rather than in game to burn the entire enemy team at once. Ingame flames aren't nearly as penetrative.

[the useless soldier]

  THREAD CHALLENGE #SWAG: "Murderous Corpse" 

Kill one player as quote immediately after being killed.
Full Commission: Kill at least two people as quote immediately after being killed.

"For those of you complaining that the current challenges rely more on quantity rather than quality, this challenge directly tests the amount of skill you have. In order to be successful, you must be able to fight for your objective not only in your current life, but even after your life is over. Truly skilled Mercantiles know how to react when their deaths are imminent; skilled players value murdering other players more than preserving their own lives."

Example:

(click to show/hide)

This is an example of completing this challenge for full commission

Tip 1: Keep on charging even though you're dooming yourself to an instant death.
Tip 2: It helps if you join (or host) a server that utilizes the spur plugin!

*Note: New rule changes have given you 2 days to complete this challenge instead of 1!! Don't waste the opportunity to satirize Bann Mercantile Group and get a credit bonus while at it!!

[BassMakesPaste]

  THREAD CHALLENGE #69: "Hack Writers" 

Bullshit a challenge.
Full commission: Bullshit EVERY challenge.

"I have been made aware of a startling trend in the challenges which I have presented you, Mercantiles: your submissions have always been thrown together as quickly as possible so that you still get the points while devoting no effort toward the actual goal. We must continue this bare-minimum of completion strategy; for it is through this that we can edge out the competition!"

Example: Why, you're reading one right now!

Tip 1: The scoring on these is very lenient! Even if your screenshots are obviously staged and your thread challenges are obviously made in a desperate attempt to claim the points before the time limit is up, you may get the points for the challenge!
Tip 2: If you make it right before going to bed at night, it will probably suck. Use this to your advantage.

*Note: New rule changes have given you 1 days to complete this challenge instead of 2!