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[Sparky]

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After long minutes of discussing, classes have been chosen, andreyyy will scout, Cara will medic, Poop will have to soldier and I'll play heavy (team composition 1).

Well for four of five maps, because we decided to do a special strategy for the second map, aka koth_corinth, andreyyy will play soldier there, Poop will be heavy and Cara will stick with medic but...I'll play Q/C there... (team composition 2)

Yes, Q/C on a 4vs4 match, in order to create something novel, and gain a sort of fame trough the Gang Garrison 2 forums or even...worldwide!

And...It was 3:00, time to start!

Everybody joined the server to start the war, one minute earlier, I reminded Gauls members their class:

"Yo guys! First map is koth harvest! So you use the first team composition, and we'll only use the special strategy for the second map! (koth_corinth)!!!"

Intermission map started, a blu pyro helped a red pyro, and this red pyro capped...this was going to start!

And...

koth_corinth started ...Gauls, who remembered what did their leader tell them, used the first team composition..even if the map was koth_corinth...

Right after the map ended, everybody rushed IRC...
"Why the hell was the first map koth_corinth"
"Wow where is koth harvest???"

...

"Oh guys! Look at the IRC title! It's written koth_havest!"

R.I.P., koth_havest killed all the Gauls' chances of becoming worldwide known...

[21Dan]

Curse Of The EU

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It was the final match of the PUG, this game would decide the winner. I was BLU's captain, and somehow I ended up with a full European team; me, Dan21, Cara and Sparky. Dan21 would only play soldier, Sparky played heavy, Cara played medic, I played scout. RED was Heenok, May, Hippie and Oktoberfest; all Canadian.

The map: koth_corinth.

I tell them to stick to the classes we agreed on at the start.

“HERO QUOTE! HERO QUOTE!” Sparky chants in the chat. Oh no...

The countdown ends and the spawn doors open, our team leaves the spawn room and heads for the point. I take the top to heckle from above, but Heenok's demoman airshots me, my gibs rain down onto the point.

As I'm waiting to respawn I watch my team fight. Sparky and Cara are trying to get onto the point, they jump, but only one of them makes it, Sparky missed the jump due to heavy's slow speed. Cara was now all alone with RED, he dies.

Now it's just Dan21, May goes out to fight him. Dan21 fires a rocket, May reflects it towards Dan21's feet, launching him up into the air. Dan21 fires another rocket, May reflects it, it hits Dan21 in the air, killing him.

“fking lag i quit”

…

Dan21 leaves the server.

For some reason Sparky is in spawn, then I realised what he was doing. His heavy turned into a curly. I respawned and tried to stop him, but it was too late; he was already making his way towards the point by himself. Cara respawns, but stands still in the spawn.

“I NO PLAY MEDIC ANYMORE!!”

Cara switches to spy.

…

We fight as hard as we can.
The game ends.
The time on BLU's clock: “3:00”

(click to show/hide)

The first draft was 370 words long. RIP 70 words

hahahahaha

Never pick 21Dan

xDDD

Never let Cara play spy.

[Imp]

The RED rocketman re-spawned on koth_corinth, nervous. The RED clock read 0:02, but the BLU clock was steadily clicking down... 7 seconds... 6...

Rocketjumping out of spawn, he saw the cowardly BLU runner ducking in and out of cover spamming shots at him. A few bullets struck, but the soldier brushed them off and steadily advanced.

" ," he said and casually fired a rocket at the runner's feet. It connected easily, launching the skinny punk sky-high into the air.

" !!" the scout was flailing around and screaming wildly, but his cries were cut off abruptly as the RED rocketman's second rocket reduced him into a nasty pile of thick tomato paste.

There were only 4 seconds left now, and the RED rocketman boosted himself closer to the point, opting to take the lower path to the point. A lone BLU pyro stood on the point, but was obliviously shaking his flamethrower above his head in a premature victory celebration.

"," said the rocketman, and blew him to bits. 3 seconds left, and the control point stood directly in front of him, with nothing in the way.

He jumped... and suddenly realized he wasn't going to make it. Panicking, he acted on instinct, firing a rocket behind him while in midair in a desperate attept to boost himself onto the point. It didn't work- the light blue platform was just an inch too far away, and the rocketman, helpless, fell to the bottom of the map.

" ", the rocketman cursed. There was only 1 second left on the BLU clock now, and he knew what he had to do.

Simultaneously jumping up and firing a rocket at his feet, the RED rocketman exploded into a gory red spray. rip

[Atlus]

 

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Firebug was bored.
Even though his days were full of excitement through capturing intel, guarding points, and destroying generators, it eventually became mundane. There was no more fun in setting people on fire to put a briefcase on a table. It was empty to blast rockets away, and even though he had tennis to keep him occupied, there was nothing special in his day.

He could only wish for something... or someone would come fill the void in his heart.

Then one day, during a very boring round of holding off the enemy, someone new had joined their group. Firebug was pretty sure that he'd never seen this constructor before.

He felt his body shift unsteadily.
He tried to reach out to his new ally. “So uh… live here often?”
Firebug blushed behind his mask, thankful that his voice muffled by the air cycler allowed the constructor to only hear the sound of “mmmhph”.

“Uhh… good idea!” the constructor replied. “Say, I’ll just be setting my stuff down near the intel, and if you don’t mind, will you help me guard?”

It was the meeting that Firebug had been waiting for. “Mmmmmhph!” he garbled, as he followed Constructor to the intel.

“Oho, stand clear now, you wouldn’t want to get in the way of my package”, the constructor called back, as he dropped a large blue box on the table.  “Are you ready, son?”
He was so ready.

Just as they finished talking, an enemy scout burst into the room. Firebug burst in and set him aflame, causing the scout to be gunned down by the sentry.

“Hey there, good job, son,” the constructor came by to give him a c1.
Their teamwork was spectacular, and their platonic partnership continued happily ever after.

[Dumbledank]

sj_crocodile

Red Runner awoke in a strange grey room, he looked around but to his dismay there appeared to be no exit. Left, right, up... down?
It was at this point that Red Runner realised he was in fact falling. From the other side of a wall he heard what he thought sounded like a Blue Runner.

"Hello Blue Runner and Red Runner, I want to play a game."
"At the bottom of this pit is a pool full of ferocious, flesh eating crocodiles. To prevent yourself from being ripped apart by the crocodiles you must make a sacrifice. By spinning your body against the wall you will create friction and lessen the effects of gravity on your body, slowing your decent."

"The first to be devoured will lose. This of course means the person who makes the biggest sacrifice will win."

"Good luck. Let the game begin."

Red scout began violently spinning against the wall, his skin burning from the friction. He knew he had to do more to survive. He spun so hard that the flesh from his arms peeled away until all but bone was gone.

*Crunch*

Blue scout had been devoured by the crocodiles.
"I won!" Red Runner proclaimed.
"Haha, I didn't think I could do it but here I am!"

Distracted by his "victory" he was too blind to see the gaping maw enclose around him...

[Intel Guard]

Curse Of The EU

(click to show/hide)

It was the final match of the PUG, this game would decide the winner. I was BLU's captain, and somehow I ended up with a full European team; me, Dan21, Cara and Sparky. Dan21 would only play soldier, Sparky played heavy, Cara played medic, I played scout. RED was Heenok, May, Hippie and Oktoberfest; all Canadian.

The map: koth_corinth.

I tell them to stick to the classes we agreed on at the start.

“HERO QUOTE! HERO QUOTE!” Sparky chants in the chat. Oh no...

The countdown ends and the spawn doors open, our team leaves the spawn room and heads for the point. I take the top to heckle from above, but Heenok's demoman airshots me, my gibs rain down onto the point.

As I'm waiting to respawn I watch my team fight. Sparky and Cara are trying to get onto the point, they jump, but only one of them makes it, Sparky missed the jump due to heavy's slow speed. Cara was now all alone with RED, he dies.

Now it's just Dan21, May goes out to fight him. Dan21 fires a rocket, May reflects it towards Dan21's feet, launching him up into the air. Dan21 fires another rocket, May reflects it, it hits Dan21 in the air, killing him.

“fking lag i quit”

…

Dan21 leaves the server.

For some reason Sparky is in spawn, then I realised what he was doing. His heavy turned into a curly. I respawned and tried to stop him, but it was too late; he was already making his way towards the point by himself. Cara respawns, but stands still in the spawn.

“I NO PLAY MEDIC ANYMORE!!”

Cara switches to spy.

…

We fight as hard as we can.
The game ends.
The time on BLU's clock: “3:00”

(click to show/hide)

I just counted the words myself and I got 290 words. I don't trust computers to count words anymore.
The first draft was 370 words long. RIP 70 words

amazing.

[Oktoberfest!]

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The RED infiltrator had it all planned out. Leave the spawn room as soon as the game had begun. Take the top path to avoid most of the enemy mercenaries. Slip behind the defence, and get rid of any stragglers. Grab the intel, then take the bottom route for a flawless capture. After days of stakeouts, impersonations and planning, his efforts were about to come to fruition. It couldn't go wrong. The plan was perfect.

*spawn doors open*

Quickly, the RED infiltrator brushed past his teammates to reach the staircase. With the speed not even a Runner could achieve, the Infiltrator bounded down the unguarded pathway. Everything was going according to plan. Within minutes, he had reached his destination.

The intelligence was in plain sight . "This is too easy!" he thought. The Infiltrator strolled into the room, and grabbed the briefcase.

"RED HAS TAKEN THE INTELLIGENCE!"

Suddenly, 3 autoguns simultaneously beeped, turned, and riddled the poor Infiltrator's body. The last, fleeting thought he had before Death's cold hands gripped him was...

"Damn you, ctf_castle."

word count = 174

[hello]

"lol faggut" mumbled Roflolian as he finished his Ramen Noodles and his Evening News.
"I guess I'll play some GG2".
He walked over to his computer, and booted it up. The noise was deafening.
He looked at the lobby.
"lol what server should i pley on?"
Reading the servers aloud, he concluded there was only one logical choice.
That shitty Brazilian itemserver The Empty USS LOL SNIPERJUMP MAPS WOW MEOW
The SCRAPYARD!!!
He realized the Primu-kun~~ was hosting.
"SO MANY ALIASES LUL"
Others agreed, including Player2.
"good thing i'm aliased as MAGICAL [MYSTERY] haha"
He switched his class to detoman-nator-demo-minegrenade-chucker-thing demo
"hey now that we are black now together Primu-kun~~ can we ~hug~?"
"lol no ur stil commi fgt"

GG prime
<3