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[B.illy S.O.D.]

  THREAD CHALLENGE #5: "Fanfic Fort 2" 

Write a short fanfic on gg2, within 100 to 300 words.

"With your aid, Bann Mercantile Group is growing rapidly. Soon, we will be setting up a new branch in a different area in the Bitlands. I trust that you will all keep the surveyors safe on-site.

I will be travelling with you all, and we will have to eventually stop and set up camp for the night. In preparation, make sure to pack proper sleeping equipment and toiletries. Furthermore, I would highly recommend creating campfire stories to tell, nothing livens up a dull trip as a good story. If you choose to write a story, I will give you a small bonus. Do keep to under 300 words, but remember, less than 100 words will not count: that would be a horrid story."

Example:

(click to show/hide)

60 seconds remaining. Score: 3-4.

There was only one chance left for RED to salvage a stalemate, and their Runner knew this all too well. His objective, the briefcase located deep in the bowels of BLU's base, lay in wait some 40 seconds away. His team, pushed back by a well timed superburst, were now scrambling into defense. It seemed that the Runner was on his own to traverse the well and save face for the team.

Well, almost. An Infiltrator, recently spawned, scoffed and changed his cigarette. Eager to support the Runner for this final push, he gestured towards BLU's base, before cloaking and moving in.

The Runner's legs never failed him - they wouldn't now. Two close shaves with a Rifleman's line of sight - enough to make him take the underpass - no reason to risk an ambush by respawning BLUs. Not when dignity was at stake. His heart pounding with every passing second, every brisk step, he advanced to the bridge.

The wretched beeping of an autogun. Not good.

He checked his watch - 10 seconds. Where was the Infiltrator?

A reassuring flurry of a knife, and a mechanical screech. Gunshots. A Constructor! The Runner sprang out of hiding, and fired at the source of the conflict. The Infiltrator had done what he could - even wounding the enemy inventor - but he could offer no more assistance, downed in the heat of battle.

The scattergun bullets struck true, burying the Constructor under its hail. The briefcase was now unguarded. Another glance - 1 second.

The Runner knew what to do. His heart was heavy - a teammate sacrificed themselves for him - and so, with one trembling hand...

If only he had noticed the mines deftly placed below.

BLU TEAM WINS

Tip 1: Keep it simple, wormfeed.

*Note: New rule changes have given you 2 days to complete this challenge instead of 1!! Now you have even more time to become a literary genius!

[t~]

The Story of the Pub Spy

"Hmm... maybe I can stab this pesky constructor, then take out his autogun, capture the intelligence, and become the hero of my team!" the RED spy silently thought to himself. "I just need him to stay still so I can deal the final blow with my trusty knife."

*2 minutes later* the spy was mauled by a barrage of bullets from the constructor.

*2 minutes after that* the spy was back in the intel room.

"Hmm... maybe I can stab this pesky constructor, then take out his autogun, capture the intelligence, and become the hero of my team!" the RED spy silently thought to himself. "I just need him to stay still so I can deal the final blow with my trusty knife."

*2 minutes later* the spy was mauled by a barrage of bullets from the constructor.

*2 minutes after that* the spy was back in the intel room


"Hmm... maybe I can stab this pesky constructor, then take out his autogun, capture the intelligence, and become the hero of my team!" the RED spy silently thought to himself. "I just need him to stay still so I can deal the final blow with my trusty knife."

*2 minutes later* the spy was mauled by a barrage of bullets from the constructor.

*2 minutes after that* the spy was back in the intel room.

"Hmm... maybe I can stab this pesky constructor, then take out his autogun, capture the intelligence, and become the hero of my team!" the RED spy silently thought to himself. "I just need him to stay still so I can deal the final blow with my trusty knife."

*2 minutes later* the spy was mauled by a barrage of bullets from the constructor.

THEY NEVER LEARN

[21Dan]

*don't read it, it's shit

(click to show/hide)

Once upon a pixel town laid an overweight man, sleeping, dreaming about *bam!* an apple falls on his testicles, oh the terror, oh the pain, oh the incapability to move them legs. Later that day a letter fell from the sky, the overweight man looked up and a pigeon tips fedora and shows him the middle finger while it gets shot by a rifleman. The overweight opened the letter, while reading it he remembered he can't read, so he took the letter to the firebug. MmmmMmmMmmmmm he said, obviously that means "help, the manwich has been captured". Then, the overweight.. *pause* writing without thinking is easy, lol. aham.. then the overweight spread his wings and ride sasha to 100cp_shadowforest. After capping 1 site, he said: "forgot the sandwich maker in the plug, brb" At the middle of his journey to the sandwich maker he forgot all about it and thought about the meaning of it all. He said, no! HE SHOUTED, "I feeeel aliiiiiiive" and then pulled up his pixelated cockleduckledo and said: let eet go, let eet go, I am wish making fairy, the manwich never bothered me anyway AND THEN HE FAPPED, losing 100 pounds, he began posing in victoria secrets, the wtf end.

[BassMakesPaste]

(click to show/hide)

Blue team had been defeated--that much was sure. All that could be done after that is to pick up the pieces and heal the wounded. A vast expanse of moaning bodies stretched before the two red Healers, Player2 and have some semen. One by one, each pointed his mediguns at a moaning body until the injured were injured no longer. The Healing Radar was full of people who needed to be healed. One by one the radar indicators would be replaced with a  .

Soon, though, the Healers lost sight of each other. With  , they remembered each others' help, but they knew what must be done: they walked different paths to heal as many as they could before death would make their job impossible. There was little that could be done to keep them together--the job demanded that they split up to maximize their effectiveness. With time, those who called for the Healers were either healed or left to bleed out.

However, once the healer radar was empty, one more call appeared on Player2's radar. It was coming from have some semen. In a  , Player2 hurried back to have some semen's side. When the two met, however, Player2 realized that it was not a cry for help, but quite another kind.

  , said have some semen in a flirtatious tone as Player2 approached him.  , Player2 inquired in return. have some semen put his finger to Player2's lips to shush him, then, grabbing his hand, pulled Player2 into the intelligence room. Their lips met as they kissed passionately next to the remains of a red autogun. started Player2. have some semen stopped him with a quiet .

have some semen tore open Player2's shirt and began licking his nipples erotically. , Player2 moaned. have some semen reached down Player2's pants and grabbed his medigun, startling Player2. have some semen stroked Player2's medigun sensually, using his index finger and thumb to tease the very end.  , Player2 gasped as his supercharge sprayed all over the room.

[Conan]

jesus christ put a NSFW tag on that shit

[Phantom Brave]

“Consciousness is unattainable,” says Medic. Engineer suggests the use of structural narrative to read independent identity. In a sense, any number of theories concerning not materialism, as would have it, but higher materialism, may be revealed.

The failure, and some would say the collapse, of graphical appropriation prevalent in this Garrison is also evident in Red's garrison. Thus, structure holds that material truth, perhaps ironically, has objective value.

An experiment goes wrong, havocking a portal on the Garrison. However, the transferrence of identity and dimension granted does not serve to sentiate the graphics. Yes, one can not overthrow the design.

[cabalier]

(click to show/hide)

The red firebug had nowhere left to run. Blue enemies surrounded him on all sides, drawing nearer, a tightening circle that could only mean trouble. A lone blue runner stepped out from the crowd, a bemused expression on his face.

"Aaaaall alone, I see... and completely at my mercy", he jeered. The firebug stood defiantly and didn't respond. All of a sudden, the firebug felt something on his back - the sharp sliding of cold steel. It was too late - the blue infiltrator's knife had already sliced cleanly through the back of the firebug's uniform. Flustered, the firebug dropped his weapon and clung to his uniform desperately.

"Oh no you don't!" The runner grabbed the firebug's uniform and tugged downwards powerfully. The firebug was too weak to resist and his one-piece suit fell to the ground, discarded, leaving his naked body exposed to the feasting eyes of the blue team.

The blue runner carressed the firebug's head with one hand, pulling the firebug's frightened face close to his own. The firebug could feel the runner's hot, musty breath on his face. Meanwhile, the runner's other hand was slowly slipping down the firebug's smooth, exposed back, causing him to feel tingles in his spine. He could only wonder what the runner was planning to do with him.

As the runner's hand reached the firebug's soft butt, the runner's lips drew up to the firebug's ear.

"Let's play some dirtbowl."

[MAY HEGEHOG]

 Again and again, the rocketman dies to the same runner. It's like the runner is always one second ahead of everything the rocketman does. The blue team was getting angry at him, saying he wasn't pulling his weight. It was then that the rocketman thought of this brilliant idea to not make his team mad at him anymore.

 He stood still, for a long, long time. All of a sudden his name disappeared! It wasn't rocketman anymore. His team stood around him to see what was going on. "Shoot, how do I spell it.." he knew English wasn't his mother tongue, and he struggled to spell it out. "L" was the first letter. By now red team has caught wind of what was happening, and they were about to storm the blue team's base. "A."

 The rocketman had to hurry, his team was going to lose and he needed to explain why he couldn't do what he should. But now the red runner was upon them, attacking his team taking out two of the four in the first few seconds. Down went the third - the rocketman was going to be next! With his final effort, another letter appeared with the other two, but it was too late. The read runner already got him. Red team continued to complete their objective and win the game.

The blue team was heavily disappointed. Later on they initiated a vote to kick the rocketman off of the team, to their success. Now the rocketman can only watch as his team does a better job than when they had him. They didn't care about what he had to say. But the rocketman forgot everything. He even forgot about what he was trying to say. The last letter...










 It was "G."

[the useless soldier]

In my peripheral vision, I saw a red rocketman hurriedly run past me. I turned around, and began to follow him. Where could this red rocketman be running to? Is he trying to steal our intelligence?

He was in such a rush that he failed to notice the loud echoes of the clanging my footsteps made as I climbed the stairs behind him. His ignorance of his environment did not truly surprise me. For after all, he was just a simple, uncultured rocketman (quite to my disgust).

As he neared our intelligence, my heart began to pound. I knew I would be able to stop him, but my subconscious told me otherwise. How could I not defend our intelligence from this ignorant rocketman?

We reached the flat platform where our intelligence was stored, and I sprinted the last few yards toward him. I raised my hand and as I prepared to stab him, the unexpected occurred - he turned around. It was as if he knew I were behind him all along. With a simple twitch, he had caught me in the act of trying to stab him. A flash of light, and it was then that I realized I was the simpleton.

***

The red rocketman turned around and surveyed his surroundings - blood was everywhere, and the flesh of the now-deceased blue infiltrator was littered all over the floor. Surprisingly, the head of the infiltrator remained intact. He bent down, and gently removed the cigarette from the infiltrator's mouth. Plopping it in his own mouth, he picked up the BLU intelligence and calmly walked back towards his base.

[bullets (obviously)]

Tasteless shades of grey and the noise of idiots mashing on the jump button assaulted
the Rocketman's senses. He evaluated his surroundings like the disciplined soldier he
wasn't, and found himself at the bottom of a claustrophobia-inducing pit. He spied the
exit far above, the steep walls demanding a sacrifice of health to reach – so why were
both intels directly below him? The indicator was never mistaken, though the Rocketman
dreaded the truth it implied.

Explosively, he launched himself from the hateful ground, only to find himself returned
to the earth by some cataclysmic shift in the universe designed for his personal benefit.

“Lag,” the Rocketman spat, the worst obscenity he could imagine.

He fired again, hoping to break free of the pit by pounding the walls into submission
with his spinning rocketlauncher. White particles of dust rose in response, contributing
to his troubles with asthma and various stutters.

At long last, the Rocketman stood atop the cliff for more than a split second. Recovering
his breath, he checked his indicators. Full health. He cursed again, and forced himself to
look down and ahead, at the source of the mindless jumping. He typed furiously, almost
hoping the host would end his misery with a kick.

“GODDAMMIT Y THE FUCK WUD U HOST RJ_PORCUPINE ON A FUCKING PUB”

He pounced on the grey message boxes, then sat back as his world restarted into what
would hopefully be a happier place. He entered the lobby and saw a dying wasteland. The
cursor hovered over the words “rj_porcupine,” and the seething Rocketman clicked again.

(click to show/hide)

*Added spoiler

[Alma Elma]

(click to show/hide)

The clock was ticking. Runner's heart was racing. The intels he had stolen laid before him... one, two, three, the same amount that BLU had taken. BLU hasn't taken a step in the base for several minutes. He paced in the spawn for several minutes before shouting, frustrated beyond belief. He picked up his gun, he knew in his heart what he had to do; Jello.

He ran as fast as his blocked feet would carry him, straight over the bridge, straight past the enemy spawn. This was almost too easy, most of BLU was camped out in the front of the base for frags. He hurried down a back entrance to the intel room, straight into a auto-gun. It shot him several times, and the constructor right on his heels. This didn't phase Runner. He hurried back with the intel, covering his wounds with his hand. He had just left the base before he had been shot in the foot, dropping the intel at the foot of his base. His friend, the infiltrator, picked up the intel, dropping a cigarette at his feet without a second thought. The infiltrator returned the intel, and the round was over. Before everything went dark, the runner heard everyone cheering... for the infiltrator.

210 words

[Heenok]

   cp_kistra

   Assɪᴍ ǫᴜᴇ ᴀ ᴏᴘᴏʀᴛᴜɴɪᴅᴀᴅᴇ sᴇ ᴀᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴛᴀ, ᴇᴜ ᴘᴜʟᴇɪ ᴇ ᴇᴜ ᴏғᴇʀᴇçᴏ ᴏ ᴍᴇᴜ sᴇʀ ᴘᴀɪsᴀɢᴇᴍ ғʀáɢɪʟ ᴇ ғʀáɢɪʟ ǫᴜᴇ ᴍᴀɴᴄʜᴀᴅᴏ ʀᴏxᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴀ ɪssᴏ ᴀɪɴᴅᴀ ɴãᴏ é ғɪxᴏ ᴇᴍ ᴜᴍ ᴄᴏʙᴇʀᴛᴏʀ ɢʀᴏssᴏ ᴅᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇ. Cᴀᴅᴀ ᴘᴀssᴏ ǫᴜᴇ ᴇᴜ ᴅᴏᴜ ᴘᴀʀᴇᴄᴇ ʀᴇᴅᴇғɪɴɪʀ ʜɪsᴛóʀɪᴀ. Mɪɴᴇ? Eᴜ ɴãᴏ ᴘᴇɴsᴏ ᴀssɪᴍ.
   Eɴǫᴜᴀɴᴛᴏ ᴇᴜ ᴅᴇɪxᴇɪ ᴍᴇᴜs ᴘʀᴇᴄɪᴏsᴏs ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴʜᴇɪʀᴏs ᴅᴇ ᴇǫᴜɪᴘᴇ ɴᴀ ᴍɪɴʜᴀ sᴏᴍʙʀᴀ, ᴇᴜ sɪɴᴛᴏ ᴏ ᴇsᴘᴀçᴏ ᴀᴏ ᴍᴇᴜ ʀᴇᴅᴏʀ é ᴅᴇғᴏʀᴍᴀᴅᴀ ᴘᴀʀᴀ ᴄᴀʙᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴜ ғísɪᴄᴏ ᴅᴇʟɢᴀᴅᴏ ɪᴍᴘᴏɴᴅᴏ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴅᴀᴅᴇ ᴍᴜɪᴛᴏ sɪᴍᴘʟᴇs. Sɪɴᴇᴄᴜʀᴀ? Eᴜ ɴãᴏ ᴘᴇɴsᴏ ᴀssɪᴍ.
   Eᴜ ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴏ ᴇ ᴇᴜ ʀᴇᴅᴇғɪɴɪᴜ ɢᴇᴏᴍᴇᴛʀɪᴀs ᴄʀᴇsᴄᴇɴᴛᴇs ᴅɪᴀɴᴛᴇ ᴅᴇ ᴍɪᴍ. Eɴǫᴜᴀɴᴛᴏ ᴅɪsᴛâɴᴄɪᴀs ᴇɴᴄᴏʟʜᴇʀ ᴍɪɴʜᴀ ᴘᴀssᴀɢᴇᴍ ᴄʀɪsᴛᴀʟɪᴢᴀçãᴏ ᴅᴏ ᴍᴇᴜ sᴇʀ ᴍᴀɴɪғᴇsᴛᴀᴅᴏ. Aɴᴛᴇs ᴅᴀ ᴍãᴏ ʀᴇᴛᴏʀᴄɪᴅᴀ ᴅᴀ ʀᴇᴀʟɪᴅᴀᴅᴇ ᴀɢᴀʀʀᴀ ɪɴᴅɪᴠíᴅᴜᴏs ǫᴜᴇ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀʀᴛɪʟʜᴀᴍ ᴇssᴀ ғᴀᴛɪᴀ ᴅᴇ ᴇxɪsᴛêɴᴄɪᴀ, ᴏ ᴏʙᴊᴇᴛɪᴠᴏ é ᴄᴀᴘᴛᴜʀᴀᴅᴏ ᴇ ᴛᴇᴍᴘᴏ, ᴍᴇᴜ, ǫᴜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴇᴄɪᴀ ʟᴇɴᴛᴏ ɴãᴏ é ᴍᴀɪs, ᴍᴀs ɴãᴏ ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀ ᴘᴏʀǫᴜᴇ ᴘᴏʀ ᴜᴍ ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴀ ʙᴀᴛᴇʀ ᴏ ᴍᴇᴜ ɪɴғɪɴɪᴛᴏ ᴇᴛéʀᴇᴏ.
   Aɪɴᴅᴀ ғɪᴄᴏ ᴀᴄᴏʀᴅᴀᴅᴏ à ɴᴏɪᴛᴇ ᴘᴇɴsᴀɴᴅᴏ ǫᴜᴇ ᴇᴜ ᴅᴇɪxᴇɪ ᴇ ᴇᴜ sᴜssᴜʀʀᴏ ǫᴜᴇ ᴇᴜ ɢʀᴀᴠᴇɪ-ᴏ ᴘᴀʀᴀ ᴏ ɪɴғɪɴɪᴛᴏ, ᴏ ᴍᴇᴜ ɴᴏᴍᴇ, Lᴏɴᴇ Wᴏʟғ.

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there's nothing in the rule that say i must use English

(click to show/hide)

   Aᴜssɪᴛôᴛ ǫᴜᴇ ʟ’ᴏᴘᴘᴏʀᴛᴜɴɪᴛé sᴇ ᴘʀésᴇɴᴛᴇ, ᴊᴇ ᴍ’éʟᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴇᴛ ᴊ’ᴏғғʀᴇ ᴍᴏɴ êᴛʀᴇ ғʀêʟᴇ ᴇᴛ ғʀᴀɢɪʟᴇ à ᴄᴇ ᴘᴀʏsᴀɢᴇ ᴛᴇɪɴᴛé ᴅᴇ ᴘᴏᴜʀᴘʀᴇ ᴘᴏᴜʀ ᴄᴇ ǫᴜɪ ɴ’ᴇsᴛ ᴘᴀs ᴇɴᴄᴏʀᴇ ғɪɢé ᴅᴀɴs ᴜɴ éᴘᴀɪs ᴍᴀɴᴛᴇᴀᴜ ᴅᴇ ɴᴇɪɢᴇ. Cʜᴀǫᴜᴇ ᴘᴀs ǫᴜᴇ ᴊᴇ ғᴀɪs sᴇᴍʙʟᴇ ʀᴇᴅéғɪɴɪʀ ʟ’ʜɪsᴛᴏɪʀᴇ. Lᴀ ᴍɪᴇɴɴᴇ? Jᴇ ɴᴇ ᴘᴇɴsᴇ ᴘᴀs.
   Aʟᴏʀs ǫᴜᴇ ᴊᴇ ʟᴀɪssᴇ ᴍᴇs ᴘʀéᴄɪᴇᴜx ᴄᴏéǫᴜɪᴘɪᴇʀs ᴅᴀɴs ᴍᴏɴ ᴏᴍʙʀᴇ, ᴊ’ᴀɪ ʟ’ɪᴍᴘʀᴇssɪᴏɴ ǫᴜᴇ ʟ’ᴇsᴘᴀᴄᴇ ᴀᴜᴛᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇ ᴍᴏɪ sᴇ ᴅéғᴏʀᴍᴇ ᴘᴏᴜʀ éᴘᴏᴜsᴇʀ ᴍᴏɴ ᴘʜʏsɪǫᴜᴇ éʟᴀɴᴄéᴇ s’ɪᴍᴘᴏsᴀɴᴛ à ᴜɴᴇ ʀéᴀʟɪᴛé ᴛʀᴏᴘ sɪᴍᴘʟᴇ. Uɴᴇ sɪɴéᴄᴜʀᴇ? Jᴇ ɴᴇ ᴘᴇɴsᴇ ᴘᴀs.
   J’ᴇxᴘʟᴏʀᴇ ᴇᴛ ᴊᴇ ʀᴇᴅéғɪɴɪᴇ ʟᴇs ɢéᴏᴍéᴛʀɪᴇs s’éʟᴇᴠᴀɴᴛ ᴅᴇᴠᴀɴᴛ à ᴍᴏɪ. Aʟᴏʀs ǫᴜᴇ ʟᴇs ᴅɪsᴛᴀɴᴄᴇs sᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴀᴄᴛᴇɴᴛ ᴘᴀʀ ᴍᴏɴ ᴘᴀssᴀɢᴇ ʟᴀ ᴄʀɪsᴛᴀʟʟɪsᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴅᴇ ᴍᴏɴ êᴛʀᴇ sᴇ ᴍᴀɴɪғᴇsᴛᴇ. Aᴠᴀɴᴛ ǫᴜᴇ ʟᴀ ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴛᴏʀᴅᴜᴇ ᴅᴇ ʟᴀ ʀéᴀʟɪᴛé s’ᴇᴍᴘᴏɪɢɴᴇ ᴅᴇs ɪɴᴅɪᴠɪᴅᴜs ᴘᴀʀᴛᴀɢᴇᴀɴᴛ ᴄᴇᴛᴛᴇ ᴛʀᴀɴᴄʜᴇ ᴅ’ᴇxɪsᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ, ʟ’ᴏʙᴊᴇᴄᴛɪғ ᴇsᴛ ᴄᴀᴘᴛᴜʀé ᴇᴛ ʟᴇ ᴛᴇᴍᴘs, ʟᴇ ᴍɪᴇɴ, ǫᴜɪ sᴇᴍʙʟᴀɪᴛ ʀᴀʟᴇɴᴛɪ ɴᴇ ʟ’ᴇsᴛ ᴘʟᴜs, ᴍᴀɪs ᴄᴇʟᴀ ɴ’ᴀ ɢᴜèʀᴇ ᴅ’ɪᴍᴘᴏʀᴛᴀɴᴄᴇ ᴘᴜɪsǫᴜᴇ ᴘᴏᴜʀ ᴜɴ ɪɴsᴛᴀɴᴛ ᴍᴏɴ êᴛʀᴇ éᴛʜéʀé à ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜé ʟ’ɪɴғɪɴɪ.
   Jᴇ ᴍᴇ ʟèᴠᴇ ᴇɴᴄᴏʀᴇ ʟᴀ ɴᴜɪᴛ ᴇɴ ᴘᴇɴsᴀɴᴛ à ᴄᴇ ǫᴜᴇ ᴊ’ʏ ᴀɪ ʟᴀɪssé ᴇᴛ ᴊᴇ ᴍᴜʀᴍᴜʀᴇ ᴄᴇ ǫᴜᴇ ᴊ’ʏ ᴀɪᴇ ɢʀᴀᴠé à ʟ’ɪɴғɪɴɪ, ᴍᴏɴ ɴᴏᴍ, Lᴏɴᴇ Wᴏʟғ.

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expecting le English?

[Derpduck]

Curse Of The EU

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It was the final match of the PUG, this game would decide the winner. I was BLU's captain, and somehow I ended up with a full European team; me, Dan21, Cara and Sparky. Dan21 would only play soldier, Sparky played heavy, Cara played medic, I played scout. RED was Heenok, May, Hippie and Oktoberfest; all Canadian.

The map: koth_corinth.

I tell them to stick to the classes we agreed on at the start.

“HERO QUOTE! HERO QUOTE!” Sparky chants in the chat. Oh no...

The countdown ends and the spawn doors open, our team leaves the spawn room and heads for the point. I take the top to heckle from above, but Heenok's demoman airshots me, my gibs rain down onto the point.

As I'm waiting to respawn I watch my team fight. Sparky and Cara are trying to get onto the point, they jump, but only one of them makes it, Sparky missed the jump due to heavy's slow speed. Cara was now all alone with RED, he dies.

Now it's just Dan21, May goes out to fight him. Dan21 fires a rocket, May reflects it towards Dan21's feet, launching him up into the air. Dan21 fires another rocket, May reflects it, it hits Dan21 in the air, killing him.

“fking lag i quit”

…

Dan21 leaves the server.

For some reason Sparky is in spawn, then I realised what he was doing. His heavy turned into a curly. I respawned and tried to stop him, but it was too late; he was already making his way towards the point by himself. Cara respawns, but stands still in the spawn.

“I NO PLAY MEDIC ANYMORE!!”

Cara switches to spy.

…

We fight as hard as we can.
The game ends.
The time on BLU's clock: “3:00”

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I just counted the words myself and I got 290 words. I don't trust computers to count words anymore.
The first draft was 370 words long. RIP 70 words

[Sparky]

Curse Of The EU

(click to show/hide)

It was the final match of the PUG, this game would decide the winner. I was BLU's captain, and somehow I ended up with a full European team; me, Dan21, Cara and Sparky. Dan21 would only play soldier, Sparky played heavy, Cara played medic, I played scout. RED was Heenok, May, Hippie and Oktoberfest; all Canadian.

The map: koth_corinth.

I tell them to stick to the classes we agreed on at the start.

“HERO QUOTE! HERO QUOTE!” Sparky chants in the chat. Oh no...

The countdown ends and the spawn doors open, our team leaves the spawn room and heads for the point. I take the top to heckle from above, but Heenok's demoman airshots me, my gibs rain down onto the point.

As I'm waiting to respawn I watch my team fight. Sparky and Cara are trying to get onto the point, they jump, but only one of them makes it, Sparky missed the jump due to heavy's slow speed. Cara was now all alone with RED, he dies.

Now it's just Dan21, May goes out to fight him. Dan21 fires a rocket, May reflects it towards Dan21's feet, launching him up into the air. Dan21 fires another rocket, May reflects it, it hits Dan21 in the air, killing him.

“fking lag i quit”

…

Dan21 leaves the server.

For some reason Sparky is in spawn, then I realised what he was doing. His heavy turned into a curly. I respawned and tried to stop him, but it was too late; he was already making his way towards the point by himself. Cara respawns, but stands still in the spawn.

“I NO PLAY MEDIC ANYMORE!!”

Cara switches to spy.

…

We fight as hard as we can.
The game ends.
The time on BLU's clock: “3:00”

(click to show/hide)

The first draft was 370 words long. RIP 70 words

hahahahaha

Never pick 21Dan

[[FR]YB]

"What's the next map?" Overweight asked to Healer.

The Red Healer looked at his phone before answering, "gen_destroy."

The entire server emitted a collective grunt, save for a couple of infiltrators who slowly declared "i lov gen its my fav"

A few seconds later, Overweight and Healer were standing in their red spawn room, with their teammates Rocketman, Rifleman and Infiltrator. Turning to Healer, Overweight winked and turned into a Detonator.

"Ye know what to do lad?" He offered with a grin.

Healer gave his usual mad smile in return, and started healing Overweight-Detonator, who began exploding himself. The three other Reds went forward, Rocketman giving them a weird look, but the two of them knew better. Slowly but surely, Healer's medigun was charing with superbürst. And in the end...

" !"

Covered with his own fading blood particles, Detonator smiled and turned back into Overweight.

"Then go my friend! Let's kill them all!"

While their teammates were clearing the no-man's-land, Overweight and Healer made their way to the enemy generator.

"Wait for it," Overweight said as they approached the Blu abomination. "When I !"

Healer nodded with a , his middle finger steadily positioned on his medigun's right button. Eventually they saw their fellow Rifleman, perched on a window, dying at the same time as he destroyed an enemy autogun.

"Get ready Healer!" Overweight shouted.

They jumped out of said window.

Before them appeared the Blu shielded machine, a bleeding Constructor, a zooming Rifleman and a Firebug.

Firebugs don't deserve adjectives.

"YAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Yelled Overweight as he started shooting his mighty load on the giant, steamy monster. Next to Overweight, Healer tried keeping the magic link between them. The Firebug was assaulting them with his fire...

Suddenly  , Healer deploys superburst, Overweight has infinite ammo, Red won.

"ggwpnore"


Dammit 300 words limit, had to shrink the end to 297 words, now it looks extremely bad ;_;