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[B.illy S.O.D.]

  THREAD CHALLENGE #1: "Ode to Garrison" 

Write a creative poem about GG2!!

"Throughout history, a successful warrior was not only skilled with a sword, but also a master of the pen. Do not give me that look, Mercantiles, poetry is not for wimps and nancies. Poetry sings of the glory of battle and the joys of conquest. The Vikings were renowned for their poetry as well as their ferocity. Come now, do you honestly mean to tell me that you are more skilled than an entire civilization of warrior men and women? If it was good enough for the Vikings, it is good enough for you. More importantly, shareholders eat this stuff up. Start writing!"

Example:

(click to show/hide)

Poems sing of souls,
The souls of my enemies.
May their gibs be pixels.

Tip 1: Use haiku form with this shout cat for a very retro approach!

(click to show/hide)

　　　　　;:＾＼　　　　　　　 ;:'";:
　　　　　;'　　`;,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,:'´　 ;　 　　　 　 ,. ､ 　 　 　 　/　　.／
　 　　　,. 　　　　　　　　　　　　':;　　　　 ,.〃´ヾ.、　　/　 ／
　　　　,;' 　　　　＼　　　　　　　`;,　 　／ ;'l 　 　 ',　
　　　 ;'　　　　　○　　　　　○　　;' r'´ 　 ;';'--‐r､ ',　　　                WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD
　　　;:　　　　　　　　 :::::::　　　.,..ィ'´　　　　 l',　　'.j　'. 　　                WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD_WORD
　　　;:　　　二二（＿_人＿_'r '´　　　 　　 　 ',.r '´　!;'　　＼
　　　;:,　　　　　　　|_______|　l!　　　　　....:.:.:.:.:.:ヽ､ 　 ,ｌ　　　 ＼
　　,.,.,."'　　　　　　　　　　　 ゝ､.,_ ---‐‐‐----ゝ､ノ　
　,:'　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（　 ﾐ
　;'　　　　　　　＼_　　　　,r'´　　i　　　　　
　;'　　＼　　　　 　＼___ノ　　　,:'

Tip 2: If you're using the shoutcat, quote this post to get the format. (Don't forget to remove the ["quote"] tags!)

[\esc144aAroundTheWorld\esca]

　　　　　;:＾＼　　　　　　　 ;:'";:
　　　　　;'　　`;,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,:'´　 ;　 　　　 　 ,. ､ 　 　 　 　/　　.／
　 　　　,. 　　　　　　　　　　　　':;　　　　 ,.〃´ヾ.、　　/　 ／
　　　　,;' 　　　　＼　　　　　　　`;,　 　／ ;'l 　 　 ',　
　　　 ;'　　　　　○　　　　　○　　;' r'´ 　 ;';'--‐r､ ',　　　               HEY_THERE_I_AM_SCOUT
　　　;:　　　　　　　　 :::::::　　　.,..ィ'´　　　　 l',　　'.j　'. 　　                BANDY_LEGS_AND_BLACK_SUEDE_CAP
　　　;:　　　二二（＿_人＿_'r '´　　　 　　 　 ',.r '´　!;'　　＼                                    JELLO_IS_SUBLIME
　　　;:,　　　　　　　|_______|　l!　　　　　....:.:.:.:.:.:ヽ､ 　 ,ｌ　　　 ＼
　　,.,.,."'　　　　　　　　　　　 ゝ､.,_ ---‐‐‐----ゝ､ノ　
　,:'　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（　 ﾐ
　;'　　　　　　　＼_　　　　,r'´　　i　　　　　
　;'　　＼　　　　 　＼___ノ　　　,:'

[Sparky]

Hey I'm the Firebug
My fire causes bug

I can reflect rockets
Or extinguish my teammates

With a pocket medic
I'm really fantastic

Cause although I am weak
When I am ubered

That's an incredible killstreak
And look, the enemy's team is dead.


 

[horseglue]

Roses are red,
so is the ground below you:
airshot.

 

[Kaze]

the sound of their death
it is soothing to hear it
i hear it alot

[21Dan]

Once upon a pixelated sandwich there was a salad,
That stood there until someone added,
"The pixelated Overweight is a maggot!"
The Overweight stood tall but ate a rocket.

Rocketman glaze at the salad and reached to his pocket,
Took the salad dressing but then came a man of chocolate
"I’ll gie ye a skelpit lug!" said the Detonator's wallet.
Who's in there? mrfredman with his faucet!

[[FR]YB]

THE RUNNER 
Yo Deto! How is it goin'?
How long have you soar'd the skies for?
You're -- like -- flyin' up to Mordor,
But you do that for a livin'!

THE DETONATOR 
Cheers! Yer pretty good with yer tongue,
But I'm not the flier ye think!
I'm much better with meh ol' drink,
For it brings great strength to my---

THE HEALER 
---WRONG!
Zis speech is inappropriate!
Something I can not tolerate!

THE RUNNER 
Aw, man, give us a freakin' break!
We're just chillin' for f*cks sake!

THE HEALER 
You are ashaming this whole team!
Tell them so, infiltrator! Please!

THE INFILTRATOR 
I do must say, zis makes me freeze!
I want to beelieve it's a dream!
What sort of simpleton would make
fun of their own team de la sorte?
Now get out of here! Prends la porte!

THE RUNNER 
That's it! Geez, man, gimme a break!
I'm outta this damn freakin' game!
I hate rhyming anyway! Bye,
suckers! I hope you will all die
in hellfire!

THE INFILTRATOR 
So rude!

THE HEALER 
For shame!

THE DETONATOR 
Come on, laddies! Aye, stop yelling!
Can you not see we are all friends?
Fighting together, to the end!
Don't argue all on such a thing!
Together, we bring death to BLU!
Teamwork and superbursts will do!
(to healer) Heal the Runner, (to runner) kill the roamer,
(to infiltrator) and stab that filthy BLU Healer,
While I minejump to the intel,
And bring it home -- and all is well!

THE RUNNER 
Wow, geez, dude, you're so freakin' right!

THE HEALER
Richtig! I am sorry, Runner,
for all zat--- (stomach noise) Ich habe Hunger!

THE INFILTRATOR
How about we call it a night
By eating a few pizzas here
together?

EVERYONE SANS INFILTRATOR     
What a great idea!

THE ROCKETMAN 
Did someone say pizza here? Yeah!
Ten pizzas, that I do not fear!
I'm eating them all, and... uh...

THE INFILTRATOR
Yes?

THE ROCKETMAN
...Dammit! I can't rhyme!

EVERYONE SANS ROCKETMAN 
Awwww...



FIN

[.prime]

The Rockets are ready.
The Soldier stands still.
Rockets are coming.
BOOM! you're dead.
 

[Derpduck]

　　　　　;:＾＼　　　　　　　 ;:'";:
　　　　　;'　　`;,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,:'´　 ;　 　　　 　 ,. ､ 　 　 　 　/　　.／
　 　　　,. 　　　　　　　　　　　　':;　　　　 ,.〃´ヾ.、　　/　 ／
　　　　,;' 　　　　＼　　　　　　　`;,　 　／ ;'l 　 　 ',　
　　　 ;'　　　　　○　　　　　○　　;' r'´ 　 ;';'--‐r､ ',　　　               MY_NAME_IS_HOMER_SIMPSON
　　　;:　　　　　　　　 :::::::　　　.,..ィ'´　　　　 l',　　'.j　'. 　　                ------------------()
　　　;:　　　二二（＿_人＿_'r '´　　　 　　 　 ',.r '´　!;'　　＼                                    ~(_8^(V)_I_EAT_THE_SCOUT
　　　;:,　　　　　　　|_______|　l!　　　　　....:.:.:.:.:.:ヽ､ 　 ,ｌ　　　 ＼
　　,.,.,."'　　　　　　　　　　　 ゝ､.,_ ---‐‐‐----ゝ､ノ　
　,:'　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（　 ﾐ
　;'　　　　　　　＼_　　　　,r'´　　i　　　　　
　;'　　＼　　　　 　＼___ノ　　　,:'

[the useless soldier]

Three medics trail a heavy -
one's useless, another's a hippie, and the third's a festival.
The heavy is glad to have his angels by his side.
Perhaps he is a pimp, but he doesn't care
(he can say they're the holy trinity!).
Who knew a cat could have so many bitches (putas)?

[Imp]

 
 

Dancing and chasing
My skill? I'm untouchable
Don't need no shoutcat

 
Too hot to handle
I'll set your whole team ablaze
Await your slow death

 
That damn bazooka!
Where once there were enemies
Only gibs remain

 
Slow but powerful
Minigun rumbles along
A storm of bullets

 
When will they explode?
Stickies are blocking your way
A grisly ending

 
I dance while you die
Autogun aims perfectly
Yay technology

 
Knife and revolver
Invisible assassin
Too spooky for you

 
A long range laser?
You'll never see it coming
Death comes suddenly


I'm a poet and
I didn't even know it!
Refrigerator!!!!!

 

[Alma Elma]

　　　　　;:＾＼　　　　　　　 ;:'";:
　　　　　;'　　`;,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,:'´　 ;　 　　　 　 ,. ､ 　 　 　 　/　　.／
　 　　　,. 　　　　　　　　　　　　':;　　　　 ,.〃´ヾ.、　　/　 ／
　　　　,;' 　　　　＼　　　　　　　`;,　 　／ ;'l 　 　 ',　                     Ｉ  ＰＲＥＳＳ  ＥＳＣ  ＢＵＴＴＯＮ
　　　 ;'　　　　　○　　　　　○　　;' r'´ 　 ;';'--‐r､ ',　　　                ＭＯＵＳＥ  ＨＯＶＥＲＳ  ＯＶＥＲ  ＤＩＳＣＯＮＮＥＣＴ
　　　;:　　　　　　　　 :::::::　　　.,..ィ'´　　　　 l',　　'.j　'. 　　                ＮＥＶＥＲ  ＰＬＡＹ  ＡＧＡＩＮ
　　　;:　　　二二（＿_人＿_'r '´　　　 　　 　 ',.r '´　!;'　　＼
　　　;:,　　　　　　　|_______|　l!　　　　　....:.:.:.:.:.:ヽ､ 　 ,ｌ　　　 ＼
　　,.,.,."'　　　　　　　　　　　 ゝ､.,_ ---‐‐‐----ゝ､ノ　
　,:'　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（　 ﾐ
　;'　　　　　　　＼_　　　　,r'´　　i　　　　　
　;'　　＼　　　　 　＼___ノ　　　,:'

[ZaSpai]

Sounding off with all marks the start
Of the rocketman's graceful art
Look out above or else you find
Limbs flying from your own behind
Yes, gibs are the recipe to a victory tart

Not quite a limerick but oh well

Also "SOLLY"

[Dumbledank]

　　　　　;:＾＼　　　　　　　 ;:'";:
　　　　　;'　　`;,,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,:'´　 ;　 　　　 　 ,. ､ 　 　 　 　/　　.／
　 　　　,. 　　　　　　　　　　　　':;　　　　 ,.〃´ヾ.、　　/　 ／
　　　　,;' 　　　　＼　　　　　　　`;,　 　／ ;'l 　 　 ',　                       I_MAKE_BAD_HAIKU
　　　 ;'　　　　　○　　　　　○　　;' r'´ 　 ;';'--‐r､ ',　　　                I_WIN_FREE_POINTS_FOR_RAY_BANNS
　　　;:　　　　　　　　 :::::::　　　.,..ィ'´　　　　 l',　　'.j　'. 　　                THANK_YOU_FOR_YOUR_TIME
　　　;:　　　二二（＿_人＿_'r '´　　　 　　 　 ',.r '´　!;'　　＼
　　　;:,　　　　　　　|_______|　l!　　　　　....:.:.:.:.:.:ヽ､ 　 ,ｌ　　　 ＼
　　,.,.,."'　　　　　　　　　　　 ゝ､.,_ ---‐‐‐----ゝ､ノ　
　,:'　　　　　　　　　　　　　　（　 ﾐ
　;'　　　　　　　＼_　　　　,r'´　　i　　　　　
　;'　　＼　　　　 　＼___ノ　　　,:'

[cabalier]

Sounding off with all marks the start
Of the rocketman's graceful art
Look out above or else you find
Limbs flying from your own behind
Yes, gibs are the recipe to a victory tart

Not quite a limerick but oh well

Also "SOLLY"

Limerick time? Limerick time.

There once was a spy named Sophia
who had an amazing idea!
"I'll stab this fat guy,
and then I will try
to stab all these players from Korea!"

Sophia hid under a crate.
Crouched under it, lying in wait.
The Overweight came!
"You're mine!" she exclaimed!
She swung - she was four seconds late.

The Overweight filled her with lead;
spammed bullets until she was dead.
And that is why, guys,
you learn to play spy
and start using your gun and your head.