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Author Topic: [Fanfic] - [BassMakesPaste] - [Reaching New Heights]  (Read 1097 times)


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[Fanfic] - [BassMakesPaste] - [Reaching New Heights]
« on: July 12, 2014, 05:12:41 am »

The following was written on May 30th, 2014
Original Post:

Reaching New Heights: The Runner's journey to conquer a once-insurmountable obstacle.

"I can't," the Red Runner said with a heavy sigh. "It's too high for me to jump." With the documents in his hand, he ran back down the sewer pipe and met his fate at the hands of the Blue Overweight who had cornered him.

Moments later, the Red Runner found himself in front of a green slimy thing that may or may not be a towel. Looking to his left, he saw the familiar pipe which lead out to the familiar bridge over the familiar sewers. He was back at the Red spawn point. A Red Infiltrator materialized to his right, immediately cloaked, and then left the alcove. The Red Infiltrator dropped down to try to exit the Red base, but was struck by two rockets and immediately turned into a fine red paste. The Red Runner realized that making it out of the front door would be close to impossible.

He tried anyway, though. Repeatedly, he died by the rockets of the Rocketmen outside. The remains of his body painted the interior hallway of the Red base from the entrance to the box which he tried in vain to use as cover. His efforts null, the Red Runner soon resigned his mission temporarily in order to find a new strategy that would not result in his extremities becoming separated from his body.

The Red Runner meditated upon the situation--how was he to leave the base and grab the documents from the Blue base? It was nearly impossible to dodge the rockets coming in the front door. Even if he made it out, leaving the Blue base would be an entirely different issue; for the walls of the sewers of the Blue base were to high to leave by jumping.

It was then that an apparition appeared before him. The ghost of a majestic but slightly overweight Runner spoke to him: "Spin. Spin your gun. Back and forth, around and around. Never stop spinning and you shall find the way, my son." The Red Scout then realized: The answer lay not in the ability to dodge the incoming rockets and shells, but his ability to navigate the twists and turns of the area so that he would not encounter any such threats.

The Red Runner found the wall of the Red base which was identical to the one in the Blue base. He jumped toward it, pressing against it with all his might. He jumped again. One final jump, and he could make it... But he couldn't. Furiously, he began to gunspin. His arms detached from his body and rotated around his center, flipping him back and forth. He jumped into the wall again. This time, however, he spun his gun and flipped his body as he jumped. He jumped again--the normal midair jump. His body jerked back and forth, moving his center slightly into the mass of the wall. He jumped a third time and cleared the wall.

Soon, he left the Blue Rocketmen behind. Their frontal assault on the Red base had failed, for they could not move their position forward without risking their own lives. They sat and guarded what they thought was the only exit--but the Red Runner had known otherwise. Swiftly, he traversed the sewers and made his way toward the Blue documents room. Close behind him was a Blue Overweight--the very same one who had killed him earlier.

This time, however, as the Red Runner jumped to try to leave the sewers, he spun his gun. A feeling of euphoria came over him as he cleared the third jump and was on his way back to the Red base. Documents in hand, he proudly marched into the Red documents room and scored the winning point.
<ThouBot> Thou neighboreth finds nay m'rcy in thou eaye. Thou common-kissing nut-hook.
<BassMakesPaste> nut-hook
<BassMakesPaste> thoubot, what is a nut-hook
<ThouBot> Thou'seth face..
<MrRatermat> OH BURN
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