Gengis Hits The Beach
Ghost Busting is hard.
You have to adjust your entire sleep schedule just to accommodate for your long hours. Next thing you know your only sleep is from 9 PM to 11:30 in the morning.
And don't get me started on staying fit for your job. You have to watch every single calorie you take.
It's all work, work, work, you never have any time for yourself.
Sometimes you just need to get away from it all.
If only there was a way to get away from it all.
I've got just the thing.
No, not socks with sandals.
No, not a picture of Gengis staring you down.
Vacation wear! Let's take a nice trip to the beach. Maybe Hawaii.
C'mon Gengis, smile! Your new clothes are nice! Very...uh...floral! Tropical!
Don't worry about Luke, Gengis arranged for Derrick to come over and feed Luke every morning. Hopefully he won't eat him before Gengis gets back.
I'm talking about Luke eating Derrick, that's what I mean. Not the other way around. Derrick is just the biggest pansy.
Let's head to the airport while Derrick tailgates us!
Through the power of editing and load screens, we skip the entire flight and head straight to our destination!
Ah, the beach.
Looks like we booked the wrong destination. This isn't Hawaii. This isn't Florida. This isn't even your aunt's inflatable swimming pool. It's Egypt.
Gengis, you dunce.
Gengis, of course, doesn't notice. So let's keep the facade going a bit longer. We're stuck here for a few days so let's make the most of it.
Let's check the local message boards for something to do.
And I don't mean the internet kind of message board.
Hmm...looks like some locals are up in arms against a foreign company buying out their land, so they want an unbiased third party. Gengis doesn't know what "biased" even means so I guess he's fit for the job. Let's ignore the topical humor and head on down to the head of the angry locals.
Luckily the Gengis Mobile Mach III can fold like paper and fit into Gengis's pocket for convenient portability.
Hmm...Egyptia--I mean, Beach Butterflies.
I wonder how they taste...
Oh, how long have you been standing there?
Gengis chats with her and pretends to understand her surprisingly fluent English, and adjusts his glasses in an attempt to come off as smarter than he actually is.
Apparently the locals need proof that the foreign company is buying local sacred land, so we need to find a certain specific "ancient family heirloom" on some of the purchased territory.
Fortunately, it's close by. Let's begin our fetch quest.
Not now, Gengis. You're on vacation.
Then again we could wave that Ghost Gun thing around and scare the locals a bit, but let's save that for later.
What a convenient snack!
Oh wait, it's super
glue. Nevermind. Let's move along then.
Downstairs we go.
Score! Coins! We could really use this back home! Maybe we can finally buy that dryer!
"Local currency"? Your face is local currency! What do you mean we can't leave here with it!?
Well, whatever. Let's look at that chest.
Shaped like a moon.
Well, let's shove this in this conveniently placed crevice in the wall shaped like a moon.
Neat-o. It opened a door.
Of course, Gengis can only care about food in this situation and starts standing around while salivating for a few minutes.
Alrighty, let's see what's in this room...
A dead guy! Awesome!
And a pressure pad with two feet carved into them.
Alright, level 2.
A pressure pad that only works with something constantly weighing it down?
Thankfully Gengis, being a Legend of Zelda master, quickly assesses the situation and finds the solution.
The problem, however, was in the execution of said solution.
Almost there and...
ALMOST THERE AND...ALMOST THERE AND...
We've found it!
A chair and table made out of stone!
Wait, no that's not it.
The chest containing the sacred, ancient family heirloom!
A BASEBALL!?SIGNED BY SOME OBSCURE BASEBALL PLAYER FROM THE 90'S!?
THAT'S your "ancient" family heirloom!?
Whatever, it's proof enough that the corporation is building on sacred land I guess.
Wait...this wall looks suspicious...
VERY SUSPICIOUSANGRILY SUSPICIOUS
Well, Gengis is too fat and lazy to do anything about it, so let's scratch this itch that's been bugging Gengis for a while.
Wow, that did it, huh?
Well, that was a lot of effort. Let's look at our reward.
Oh boy, I can't wait for some worthless rock I can throw at a door to break it open or something.
Wait a minute...
...This vacation just might as well pay for itself.
Tune in next time for the next exciting update ofThe Adventures of Gengis™ Garrson™