By Gengis
I approached the mirror, feeling rejuvenated. A few days earlier, a rather brutish woman had bitten my arm quite furiously, creating a worrisome gash which had curiously healed quite quickly.
I suppose this transformation was on par with common myths of vampires, but I was taken aback by my own reflection. While I don't often dabble into such trite, I was admittedly confused. As little as I knew about vampires, I was aware that they did not cast reflections.
I pondered to myself, "Am I of old vampire mythology, or of similar to the common modern vampires depicted in "Twilight"?
Oh dear.
Luckily, I had an old razor in hand to restore my hair to its natural beauty.
I was not entirely sure if I was merely delusional or if I was really transformed into a vampire. I felt no outward difference in my being.
Fortunately, a book explaining my transformation was delivered to me in the mail recently.
Despite promises of the delivery containing alternatives to the outlandish blood-sucking ritual that is commonplace among vampires (alternatives such as a curious plant known as "plasma fruit") being attached with the book in the package, I was unable to find such a thing.
While I looked forward to a good read from this instructional pamphlet, the rest of the pages were either blank for taking notes or written in different languages. How embarrassing; especially coupled with the large amount of grammatical errors in the Japanese and French sections.
As interesting as the book was, it was difficult to read when I was worried about my significant other discovering my new ghoulish form. A little too late to give the "Halloween disguise" excuse, you see.
The only comfort was knowing that she was socializing with an old companion of mine, but I was unsure of how long this distraction would last.
While I was in the middle of the German section of the book, I was alerted by the sound of the door from my abode's garage being opened.
My soul mate question my odd complexion, much to my dismay.
I quickly changed the subject towards the discussion of astronomical anomalies, such as planetoids outside of our solar system.
Perhaps, I pondered, I could distract her with a anecdote from one my favorite Latin poems.
She appeared intellectually satiated.
Seizing the opportunity, I fled to my vehicle and headed towards the entertainment district. However, halfway through the drive I felt an odd sensation. I began to desire a healthy jog.
While I'm not one to boast about my athletic prowess; or rather, my lack thereof, I was surprised when I suddeny felt overwhelming energy throughout my body.
And with a burst of speed, I ran faster than I could ever even hope to achieve on my motorcycle.
Is this only a sample of my new abilities in this superhuman state? I could become accustomed to this.
After running for quite some time, I felt an overpowering thirst. Following my instincts, I sped to the nearby bar.
Suddenly, I heard faint whispers. I looked around, but there appeared to be nobody discussing anything with another. Then I remembered in the instruction book that was mailed to me.
It discussed that not only was my body was of superhuman capabilities, but my mind was likewise in possesion of unnatural latent power as well.
I walked towards a subject for my new mental powers...
...And I dove into his mind.
Let's discover this man's deepest, darkest secrets.
Bedwetter!?
That was less amusing and more unpleasant.
Finally, I tried the ultimate mental ability mentioned in the book.
Mind control.
The gentleman stared at me. I suppose my brain power was not within my guiding hand's grasp. As I read his mind once more, I was assaulted with highly disturbing perversions of this man involving myself.
Nauseated, I trudged to the bar, hoping a heavy drink would assist me in forgetting such things.
However, I was still parched. No amount of alcohol can quench this thirst. I headed towards the local dance club.
At that point, I reached a realization! I thirst not for water, but for blood. The common source of energy for vampires such as myself.
I walked over to a potential victim, using my suave mannerism to coax her into sticking her arm out. It was ungentlemanly, but I had no other choice, I'm afraid.
Acting as casual as I possibly could be, I grabbed her arm...
And, well, I believe you can figure out the rest.
Unnervingly, I believe she seemed to enjoy the interaction.
I quickly fled the area, worried that I may have accidentally unleashed another vampire into the town. Hopefully not.
Back home, I grew exhausted from the night's activities. Aware of the dangers of exposing myself to sunlight, I decided to rest for the entirety of the day.
However, the average bed seemed a bit...unfitting for a person of my stature.
Luckily, the book came with an alternative to the everyday bed.
Although I'm not quite sure how the mailman managed to fit this into my house's mailbox.
Laws of physics aside, it was quite comfortable.
However, early into my sleep, I heard footsteps upstairs.
I then realized, much to my dismay, that it was the beginning of my spouse's workweek, and she had to head to her workplace earlier then usual.
Oh well, hopefully she would not have noticed that I had failed to return after leaving last night.
However, that theory was all but debunked when I heard her scream my name in sheer anger, dogs barking and houses' lights switching on afterwards.
She always did have a sixth sense when it came to discovering my...hiding places quickly.
I got up slowly, and tried explaining the situation to her.
I admit that I didn't quite think my excuses through; I attempted to pass the pale complexion and fang-like teeth as the result of powerful teeth whiteners.
Needless to say, she was not entertained.
I backed slowly against the wall. She was amazingly aware of vampires and the downsides of being one...or in her case, being married to one. She was going to have none of it.
She grabbed my arms, and told me that she could make a call. I stared, confused, at her.
She called in sick to work. Not really an honest thing, but it allowed her to stay at home and help me through this predicament.
Obviously, that was not the "call" she mentioned. She picked up the phone once more and called an unknown number.
As for me, I couldn't go to work, fearing the sun's rays. I suppose being a vampire wasn't very good for sustainable living after all.
Suddenly, I heard a large vehicle approach our front door and smashing my petunias. The driver dismounted from the motorcycle, and entered.
My wife's older brother.
And, unfortunately, my brother-in-law.
As he entered, he grabbed and quickly ate a clump of dried food I had dropped weeks ago and never bothered to pick up. Glad to see he shared my spouse's...hygiene concerns.
The two hugged, apparently having not seen each other for quite some time. However, Blaise's brother glared at me rather angrily.
Deciding to introduce myself, I mocked--I mean, I gave him some friendly ribbing.
Suddenly, the brute tackled me mid-sentence.
Over the fighting, my wife calmly explained the her brother works in the "extermination" of various superhuman or mythical beings for pay; she was hoping he would be able to cure my current ailment.
Unfortunately, I don't believe he was paying attention to his sister's pleas.
Thankfully, and much to her brother's disappointment, she broke up the fight to explain her request to her brother once more.
He agreed...but notably sarcastically. He didn't take her seriously.
He shoved me into the next room, like the neanderthal he was.
He then opened a box he had brought along with him, which contained things that would kill rather than cure. Garlic stakes, silver cloves, and a gun loaded with a wooden bullet.
Fearing for my life, I used the only thing I had on my person that I could use for self-defense.
A detonator.
The cost of defending myself from this barbarian? Two months of combined salary. Down the drain.
Luckily, Blaise's thug of a brother gave up on trying to kill me, and simply decided just to inform us of a supplier of a cure for vampirism.
Why he didn't just tell us in the first place, I may never know.
As he left, day turned to night, and as night slowly became day, we received a calling telling us that the cure was ready.
The science facility...sunrise was coming, and there wasn't enough time to return home before I would be scorched from the sun's violent rays. There's no turning back now.
Oh dear...I hope this doesn't hurt as much as the haircare products at the salon...
IT DOES!
AAAAAAHHHHHH--
Huh? Where am I?
The science lab?
Hah, those mafia wannabes are running out of ideas! They've already used the junkyard and the swamp, so now they're just dumping me randomly around town!
What the...?
"Vampirism and You: An Interactive Guide To Your Night-Walking Lifestyle!"?
Hah, what is this? Some children's book? Oh look, they have an entire section for a diary of your life as a vampire! Cute.
Man, whoever wrote this is some creepy kid stuck in a man's body. I can't even understand half of these words this freak wrote! And I know a lot of words!
Well, to be fair, most of the words I know are just swear words.
...I'm talking to myself again. I need some breakfast.
If you have any suggestions on how Gengis or Blaise should spend tomorrow, additions or changes in their clothing or house, or anything else just post them in this thread.
